And then there are those things for which punishment isn’t necessary. Things that, by no means, make amends, but do make me experience some form of delight in myself again.
I have arrived here, where they are, in Las Vegas. I should have known.
I arrived still hungry. After my fast, it seems I cannot quite get full.
So, I went out.
My, how the bounty is plentiful here. So many people so deserving of the demise I can bring them. And I found one that made me glad in my ability to kill.
She was gorgeous in a way that said that she knew it. And used it.
But it was all that she knew.
And she used it everywhere.
Including at the school where she worked as a junior high teacher, which she told me, but didn’t have to, because I already knew. It’s sort of a psychic ability that isn’t. It’s really more intuition, and it comes from this. There aren’t many things that you can do that I haven’t already done. You cannot hide them from me, because I know what your sins look like.
I knew exactly how to seduce her. With this type of person, the key is to make it all about her; her pleasure, her beauty, her effect on you. She did not crave union. She craved adoration. A fan. I could be that. And I could also be her assassin. It was, after all, what I was there for, why I’d honed in on her in a crowd of beautiful people just like her.
And she’d pleaded, as they all do, told me that she wasn’t guilty of those things of which I accused her. None of them. Not one of the thirty kids she’d made into early adults in ways that were irrevocable. She’d done them no favors, though I’m sure she had convinced herself that she had. And she fought the accusations, did it until the end, until my daggers sunk in and she felt so euphoric that she couldn’t argue with me anymore.
I wish, wish, that I knew a way to make my drinking hurt. For so many of these people death isn’t good enough. I wish I could inflict pain, but it disturbs me now to do so, even if these people are so deserving of it. So, while it doesn’t actually constitute punishment, it still offers protection to those who would be future victims.
Of course, when they discover the body, it will be the woman herself who is considered a victim. And they can think that. But I know. And so did she.
AÂ word to the wise -
If I find you - I know. Don’t try to fight the inevitable. Admit your sins, at least to yourself. Cleanse your heart. Free your soul.
I’m going to kill you anyway.